Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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