Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
where does the pee come out of this thing
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
