i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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