Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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