I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
