Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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