Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
