We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's never too late to be topless.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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