I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
