FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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