smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
