My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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