she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
