He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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