no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
