Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize