This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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