His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize