jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
