just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Houston, we have a blender
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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