oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
