party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
