My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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