Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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