is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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