i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize