its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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