is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
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We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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