We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
