You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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