So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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