i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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