if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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