white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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