After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
