Me too!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
