Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
