I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize