Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize