So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
