Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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