i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
