I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
