He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
