I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
