no, he came in my armpit
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
