okay pat passed out under dana's car
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
