its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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