Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
