just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
3 2 1 whiskey
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
