his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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