I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
