There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
