Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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