I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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