weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize