I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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