I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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